Master♡Doctor
It is quite possible—overwhelmingly probable, one might guess—that we will always learn more about human life and personality from novels than from scientific psychology
“
| — | ― Noam Chomsky |
I have an idea…
Let’s do an experiment. This experiment consists me and another DECENT fucking person—and the finding of that person. This person can’t be doing drugs, they can’t want only sex out of a relationship with me, they MUST be intelligent enough for me to have a STEADY conversation with, and they must understand me. Or at least be interested enough to try. I am yet to meet a person like this. And it bothers me. Others have their family and their friends. My friends, as much as I try to explain it, have absolutely NO idea where I’m coming from. I’m getting lonely.
Perhaps I should just leave this whole place behind… Leave behind the memories. I’ve always run away and the moment I stopped, things only got worse. So fuck this place. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. Is it really the best thing for me to stay here where all the good memories fade into the background because certain people (who shall remain nameless) are determined to make my life shit? I don’t think so. All this pain isn’t worth it. And it isn’t even really pain that’s being caused now. Every time I go through old neighborhoods and cities, I feel nothing but pain and all I can see is how terribly I was treated. Then I realize….
No one can help me. I need to help myself. And if that means getting away from everybody, then so be it.
I’m so sick of trying for nothing. Trying to connect with people who are nothing but backstabbing traitors. I’m starting to hate everything. Could be going insane, perhaps? It would be appropriate. I can’t even let myself learn everything I want for fear of being too smart for my own good. I’ve seen what happens to people who get too fucking clever. They end up hurting others without knowing it. I don’t want to do that simply because it took me so long to get the friends that I have and I know that one slip-up will lose them forever.
From now on, there will be no such thing as love and caring will be a disadvantage for me. I’m tired of being empathetic to people who can’t get over themselves. It’s so fucking dull, doing the same thing every goddamned day and receiving no result. I hope everyone has a nice fucking life. ‘cause come graduation, I’m leaving this fucking place.
